Ways You Die in Korea

A foreigner in Korea has a lot of research to do because there are a lot of ways one can die in Korea that are unheard of in the rest of the world. To insure staying alive in the small country of Korea you need to be up to date on the following: fan death, flower death, and red pen death.

Apparently in Korea, your fan can turn into a killing machine under the right circumstances. Fan death occurs when one closes all the windows and doors and falls asleep with the fan running. This is not a joke, it really happens according to Koreans. I have heard it’s even on the news so it must be true, right?. I am not sure what it is about sleeping in an enclosed area with a fan on that kills you…it just does. I have heard a few explanations, but am not sure how plausible they seem (the fan breaks up the oxygen molecules and you suffocate) and have resorted to “it just kills you”.

Not only are the fans dangerous, you have to watch out for those flowers also… that’s right, flower death. In Korea photosynthesis works a little different, kind of like reverse photosynthesis. Unlike the rest of the world, plants here take in O2 and release CO2. This is where flower death comes in: if you have too many plants in your apartment they will suffocate you. This makes me want to put my Orchids back in the garbage closet where I found them (that’s probably why they were there in the first place). I am pretty attached to my plants though, so I have just been opening my windows every now and then to let some oxygen in.

Red pen is pretty dangerous as well. If you write someone’s name in red pen it is like a death sentence. I actually made the mistake of doing this and the paper with my e-mail address on it was promptly taken away and torn up to save me… I re-wrote it in blue. I did recently notice that on my list of people to e-mail, a few of your names are written in red…sorry, hopefully it doesn’t work unless you are in Korea.

So next time you see a fan, a flower or a red pen and assume they are harmless objects think again. They kill people in Korea all the time. It’s funny, one would think that the massive cloud of smog and pollution, or the excessive Soju drinking would contribute to killing Koreans…but I guess that is just crazy talk.

Last September, almost 9 months ago, I quit my job, sold my car and bought a one-way ticket to Asia. Not long before, my plan had been to buy a house in Corvallis, go back to grad school and start a teaching career. How I have ended up here I am still not really sure. It may have been one of those moments of clarity where I knew it was one of those things I was “supposed to do”, or it may have been a decision based on a random yearning for adventure.

Whatever the reason, here I am in Korea after many months of travel. In the past six months I have seen mountains and oceans, villages and cities, the rich and the poor, lakes and rivers, Buddhist temples and Christian churches. I have experienced moments of peace and of panic, times of understanding and times of utter confusion. I have felt warmth and kindness from most people along with coldness and negativity from others. I have met amazing people who have taught me so much and will remain in my heart forever.

Coming to Asia was hard for me. I have always traveled in Latin America where I speak the language and have a familiarity and deep love for the culture. I suppose that is why this trip has seemed so special to me, I have been forced out of my comfort zone a bit which has caused a lot of self-growth. The path through Asia has opened my eyes and mind to so many new things it is incredible. So I guess its not “why” I am here that is important. The why becomes a part of the process of just being and taking in all that I have experienced.

CRAZY CLIMBERS!

Yesterday Rach and I ended up at a climbing gym trying to get out weak asses back into climbing shape. It was really great except for the screaming children there for climbing class. I spend all week listening to screaming children (Korean kids have the whine of all whines) and it's the last thing I want to hear on the weekends). After climbing we stopped at a gear shop because Rachel needed something. Some guy came out and sold it to us and then invited us in for fresh (meaning not instant) coffee. There were a bunch of climbers hanging out. It turns out that the guy who helped us does not even own the shop. He owns a big guiding company and climbs all over the world. He has even been to Smith! Him and his friend had just finished a day of climbing. They informed us that it is Korean climbing culture to have a drink after climbing...isn't that climbing culture everywhere? Anyways he invited us along to have a beer at a little climber restaurant. It was really entertaining, these guys were hilarious...and they knew everyone. They were drinking a shot glass of Soju (a Korean wine-like beverage) dropped in beer, known as Pok Tan Ju. We asked if this was a common drink in Korea and were informed that only "crazy climbers" drink it. They ordered lots of food and so we tried lots of random stuff. We also learned that in Korean culture, if you go out, the oldest man always pays. So it was kind of the running joke of the night, "don't worry about it, the old guy pays". It was funny because they kept telling us that climbers everwhere have the same mentality...and I would have to agee with them (for the most part). So that was my Saturday night: hanging out with middle aged "crazy climbers" and it was oh so entertaining. They reminded me of the Korean versions of many of my friends in 20 years...
Oh and the pictures:
1.This crack in the gym is made with real granite...its pretty sweet.
2. not really sure what this thing is, a stair stepper and some hangboards, what do you suppose you are supposed to do?
3. Me with a grin on my face and a burrito in my hand

Today is Budda's birthday, he is 2551 years old today. That is why it is year 2051 in many Asian countries instead of 2007. (its funny when you make realizations like that; things you feel like you should have understood a long time before...) Anyways last Sunday was the lantern fesival here in Seoul to celebrate Budda's ripe old age. There were massive amounts of people (I higher density of white people than I have seen in ages) participating in the festivities. We did not get there until late so it was pretty hard to see the actual parade, especially for a short person like myself. I just thought I woud post some lantern pictures because they are pretty.

A couple of weeks ago I found myself sitting at my desk inhaling toxic fumes and trying to grade papers to the sound of construction. I thought to myself, “is this for real?”
The day before, during our Tuesday meeting, Mr. Kim mentioned to us that the school, primarily the teacher’s office was about to be remodeled. He explained what the remodel was going to entail; the teacher’s office would lose about 3 feet of space, (we already were squished into a cubiclesque setting mind you) and they planned to replace the wall with glass. We asked why this was all necessary and the reply was, it will look nicer. So the next day the construction began. They removed all the computers (which is where all the materials for classes come from) except for one. They took out our copiers and placed one in the lobby for us to use. Now picture 15 teachers trying to prep their classes in this situation…all you can do is laugh and ask yourself "is this for real?”
It may seem that a lack of planning went into this whole extravaganza, and you are probably right. I have realized something living and working in Korea; critical thinking is not a skill they use very often. Don’t get me wrong here, I am not insulting their intelligence in any way, shape, or form, they are extremely intelligent, diligent people. They are just not taught how to use critical thinking in school. From what I can tell, kids want to know a black and white answer to everything… which explains the huge wordlists that they memorize for the test, oftentimes not grasping the real meaning of the words. School here seems to be about tests and answers not about using information to assess different situations. If I took as many tests as these kids do, I would probably just want a quick yes or no answer also. I did a survey in one of my classes and many of my students take up to 17 tests a week, and these are 8 year olds.
So as I am sitting, trying not to get frustrated that I cannot hear myself think, and knowing that getting out of my desk requires squeezing through an isle of displaced teachers I ask myself “all this so it looks better, who’s idea was this again?” Then I am reminded that I am in a different country, where ideas have been molded in a different way, through a different education system. What seems irrational to me makes sense in their minds. I cannot say that my way of assessing information is necessarily better than theirs, because things always seem to work out and get done in a roundabout fashion here. It may not be through the process I would take but, it does get the job done. All I can do is sit back and think “is this for real”.

Out and about...

This weekend Rachel and I went hiking with a Korean guy we work with. There is a beautiful national park right outside fo Seoul. They are not kidding when they say that hiking is the Korean national pastime. I could not believe how many people were out. It was actually a real hike, about 6 hours and a lot of scrambling around on rocks. (It was awesome to see old Korean woman tackeling it).The granite peaks were incredible. I cannot imagine how amazing this area must have been before te ginormous city took over. Sunday was not the best day to go though, because it was a mad house. It is scary enough to be scrambing on a cliff without a ton of other people doing the same. It was really great to get out of the city though.

Sports Day!!!!

May 5th in Korea is not Cinco de Mayo, it is Childen's day. On children's day the kids get gifts, and have field day at school. For EG English teachers it meant sports day. Picture a bunch of grown adults on a field trip. We rode on a bus and had roll call, our destination: the park. Sports day involves a lot of free beer and 4 different sporting events; soccor, basketball, kickball (or foot baseball as the Koreans say) and a relay race. The way it works is we are all divided into teams, and if you are not on Mr. Jung's team, (the big boss) you know you are going to lose. Team b, which was my team, had the unfortunate luck of playing Mr. Jung's team 1st round in every event. The rule is that his team doesn't lose...so rules change as you go, fouls are not called and if necessary the game goes on until the big man wins. The only event we won was the relay race (because you can't cheat to win that one). It was not enough to pull us out of big fat loser status though. Our prize for last place was a bottle of baking soda. There are almost no ovens in Korea and we won baking soda. 1st places prize was a blow dryer...which is really hilarious considering that 85% of the teachers at our school are male. 3rd place received a 4 pack of toothpaste. All in all it was a good time, even if I was a loser. I have no problem with getting paid to play sports and drink beer all day.

I may not have taught her the best English, but at least Betty likes me....
Sometimes I wonder how I am teaching English. the other day for example I had a lesson about commas. Now as you all have probobly noticed, comma placement is not my strong suit. As my mom once put it, "you just kinda randomly disperse commas throughout your writing". I am sure I ruined those kids in teh comma department...woops.

Things are great over here in Korea. I am finally over the shock of living in a ginormous city, and starting to enjoy it. City life is wacky. I can go to the gym, get a latte, buy some groceries for breakfast, and get on the subway to work all without leaving my buiding. I was hoping to get out of the city this weekend, but it is a holiday weekend (children's day) and it looks like transportation is booked and the forecast calls for rain.