Ten Days of Silence

The thought manifests as the word,

the word manifests as the deed,

the deed develops into habit,

the habit hardens into character,

so watch the thought and its ways with care

and let it spring from love,

born out of concern for all beings.

I spent the last 10 days doing or not doing the following:

*Not speaking AT ALL

*Not wearing shoes

*Eating only 2 simple meals a day (rice soup for breakfast

*Living in a cell sleeping on a concrete slab

*Waking up at 4 am

*Learning about Buddhism and meditation

*Doing yoga

*Hotspringing

*Attempting to sit and meditate (I felt pretty ADD)

The International Dharma Hermitage Center at the Suan Mokkh Monastery in Thailand was established by Buddhadasa Bhikku to teach people about meditation and Buddhism. In Thailand they practice the Theravadah form of Buddhism. I feel like I finally have a basic understanding of the ideas surrounding Buddhism. Learning about such an intense philosophy when you cannot escape your own mind is really intense and makes you really examine a about your life. Every day we woke up at 4 am and had a scheduled day of classes, yoga, meditation time, ect. Our last meditation session ended at 9 pm. We learned a form of meditation called Anapansiti which means mindfulness through breathing. So meditation was way harder for me than I expected... I have a wandering mind and short attention span, but I can see the benefits that it can bring. I realized that my form of meditation usually comes from physical activity and found it hard to connect the mind and body sitting on a mat with crossed legs. Since I was such a bad meditator most of the time I spent hours upon hours thinking (which is exactly what you are not supposed to do while meditating). Regardless of how much meditation I did I got a ton out of these ten days, including a good experience. This was definitely one of the harder challenges I have willingly put forth to myself. At one point (day 7 I think) during walking meditation I looked up at the coconut tree above me and thought to myself if one of those coconuts fell on my head right now, would I be happy with how I spent the past 7 days of my life? Upon arrival we were told that the ten days would be an emotional roller coaster and I did not take the warnings very seriously, but emotional roller coaster it was. I had really happy times looking around and actually seeing and appreciating how beautiful things are, and really negative moments when I just wanted get off my mediation mat and run around screaming. It was quite funny to watch people during their good moments though, it looked as though they were on hallucinogenic drugs, fascinated by a leaf of lettuce. I stuck it out though and I am really glad that I did. It was a very humbling experience that reminded me of how little I actually know. I really learned so much about myself and feel so much better now, it feels like I had a mental cleanse. The last night we had a sharing session where several people got up and talked about their experiences. Its weird because you never talk to these people but by the end ten days you feel as though you know them. It was a very strange connection that I cannot explain. Listening to other people's experiences was really emotional and incredible. I will spare you the details on my insights on life and leave you with this one journal entry I wrote on day 8:

This morning after giving my teeth a good brushing I got the feeling that my toothbrush was getting a bit worn. The bristles were starting to feel soft and flimsy. So after spitting and rinsing I looked down to investigate. I discovered that yes, my toothbrush has seen better days and may need to be retired. But more importantly I realized that I had never before really looked at or paid much attention to my toothbrush, a tool I use two to three times a day. Before today i don't think I could have told you the color of the handle or the brand of my toothbrush. When I took the time to look at it I discovered it was blue, dark blue. Circling the bristles along the edge there are soft green rubbery bristles. Th actual bristles are 3 different colors that form a bulls-eye. My toothbrush bristles have lost a lot of the color, it is old, hence the reason i gave it a second glance in the first place. But I can tell that they used to make a blue, green and white bulls-eye. Oh, and it's an Oral B. When I throw this toothbrush away and buy a new one, I wonder if I will be more mindful of it? I wonder how many other things, perhaps more important than the color of my toothbrush, I am missing or have already missed.
Pictures:
-The bell: the bane of my existence at times. This let us all know when a meditation session was over.
-Meditation hall: I spent many a hour fidgeting around, thinking, watching the back of the woman in front of me and waiting for the bell to ring in here. Oh yeah and I did some meditating as well.
-Rach and I with Nun Aree: She really inspirational woman who taught some of our classes. (I think the Beer Lao shirt is a good touch)
-My cell: That is my cement slab...looks comfy. Not pictured is my wooden pillow... I used clothes instead.